There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
