My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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