i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
