Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
