Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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