Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize