I didn't shave. On purpose
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
