What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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