can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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