come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
