Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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