he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
