Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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