That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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