I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
