her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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