fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
