I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize