420 ftw
okay pat passed out under dana's car
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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