she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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