Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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