There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
