The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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