k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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