does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
