My first STD was from a foam party
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize