I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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