On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
