can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
