that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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