I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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