So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
