she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
