I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
