i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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