I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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