I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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