just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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