i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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