he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize