sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He did a backflip because drugs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
