It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
