I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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