dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The adults are the big ones right?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
