Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
