Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
