So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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