You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
