Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
there is glitter all over my balls
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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