At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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