idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
