would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Pooping to opera.
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