So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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