Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
