just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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