i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
