This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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