I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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