I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
