Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
