suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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