I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize